“You need to change your attitude, you need to tune it down a bit” came the retort. We were discussing our future and what we wanted to do when I said that I wanted to work only for my myself and have no dreams of working for a company big or small. “We all have that dream but you need to build your base, you need to understand the corporate life and the way to deal with everyday situations which will make you stronger, not by having an attitude of getting angry and paranoid”. He was absolutely right realistically. As they say, ‘no money, no honey’. You could be living in a bubble and reading about all the success stories but its not easy.I had been working for a company selling securities but everyday was getting harder. With that in mind I needed to part as my next inquiry came in.
That night I needed to be true to myself. I needed to put things into perspective and I needed to share, but with who? So I lay down, closed my eyes and decided to question my self. I woke up on this planet, cool, beautiful, all green. Not Earth but something like the planet MOGO (if you are a Green Lantern Fan). I have always been a Green Lantern fan and combined my creativity and my dreams into a meeting place. An inner body intervention with all my emotions. For people who are not familiar with this, I have listed the below emotional spectrum and their significance.
Red Lantern – Rage
Yellow Lantern – Fear
Green Lantern -Willpower
Blue Lantern- Hope
Indigo Lantern – Compassion
Violet Lantern – Love
This may seem childlike but I needed to go to my ‘go to place’ and just be honest with myself and what could be more honest than personifying your emotions and having an honest conversation with them. An interview of sorts with my panel of interviewers; my emotions.
Indigo – I understand what you are going through, so what do you want to do?
Blue – You are entrepreneurial and full of me. You have your aims and objectives and look to a bright future, which I am sure you will achieve, but what do want to do?
Red – You are angry with the way things are going on in the office. Lack of creativity and and the monotony is killing, no wonder you are full of me but don’t quit, I get stronger day by day there.
Yellow – Keep doing what you are doing. You are getting paid and that is keeping you afloat. Do you have a plan B? What if you fail? what if you don’t get another job? Don’t answer back at work, you might be given a warning letter. Don’t loose the security and just continue. Be realistic and build your self up. I may be fear but I am a realist.
Violet – What ever decision you take I will always burn bright. I understand sometimes you hate yourself and the rage in you swells (I see the red lantern flash a smile) but you need to remain patient and need to be positive. Have faith in your self.
Green – What do you will?
ME – I am scared (the yellow burns bright).
Yellow – And you should be.
Green – Of what?
ME – scared of making decisions, for someone else always held my hand, scared that I take the wrong path, scared of falling.
Blue – I am here to wash away all your consternation. The blue in you dims but the green in you needs to erupt and to do that the blue needs to shine. Don’t be afraid to hope, don’t be afraid to make mistakes.
Yellow – How often we have heard all that rubbish, don’t be afraid etc etc. ‘If you want something so bad get it’ and then you fall face first. Don’t be a fool. How will you live? Will your parents be happy with the decision you have taken? So many cases of failure, can you guarantee your success. When you fail, would you like to go back home crying.
Blue – What makes you so sure he will fail?
Yellow – Because he has been doing this for a along time. Every time he dreams up something, there is no consistency and he fails.
Red – And he lights me up further. He fuels my fire and I glow brighter day by day.
Blue – So you want him to just forget what he wants and continue where he is?
Yellow – Yes and in the future, go forward with his plan.
Green – What if these opportunities do not come? can you guarantee them coming in the future?
Yellow – No one can guarantee anything, but he will be in a better position to take a decision. You all know I am rational and correct.
Indigo – Yellow is correct but what do you want?
ME – I DO NOT KNOW. (The Red glowing)
By this time I knew Yellow would win. His argument unshakable and realistic.
Green – Are you are coward?
ME – Never
Violet – Do you hate yourself?
ME – Yes.
Violet – Why?
ME – Cause I can’t make up my mind.
Green – Good, because now is the time to prove to your self what you are about. So what if you fall, wont you get up? will you crawl around moping?
Yellow – Do you have a plan?
ME – Yes.
Red – Do you know where you will be after 5 years.
There was silence for a while. I was perspiring. Imagine being cross examined by all your emotions, It is hard.
I slowly felt the blue lighten and his soft light wash over me.
ME – What or Where ever I am, I don’t want to kick my self and say,”I wish I took the step then for the time was then”.
Yellow – What if you fail?
ME – I’ll just get back up.
Green – What do you want?
ME – To follow my gut and stay strong. Have the courage and will to move forward. I have the experience and I have my goals and plans. The road will be tough but I know what I want to do, I Know what I have to do.
Green – Then lets dance.
The morning light hit me with refreshing vigor. I never felt so light, never so free. The toughest person to face is not your boss but you.
The green had filled my room.